plj? 



^5 






LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

iiiiiiinifi.^ 

015 905 059 2^ 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalosrue Free. 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Ete. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, ZVi hrs (35c) 8 8 

Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 acts, 

2 hrs- .(35c) 15 

After the Game, 2 acts, IM 

hrs C25c) 1 9 

All a' Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 4 4 

All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 

2^^hrs ...(35c) 6 10 

And Home Came Ted, 3 acts, 

2J4 hrs (50c) 6 6 

Arizona Cowboy, 4 acts, 2]/^ 

hrs. (35c) 7 5 

Assisted by Sadie, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs (50c) 6 6 

As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

2^ hrs (35c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 6 14 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) , 9 3 

Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, 1^ hrs. 

(25c) 17 

Boy Scouts' Good Turn, 3 acts, 

IH hrs (25c) 16 2 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2J4 

hrs ...(25c) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Busy Liar, 3 acts, 25^ h. (25c) 7 4 
Call of the Colors, 2 acts, IJ^ 

hrs (25c) 4 1« 

Call of Wohelo, 3 acts, 1^ 

hrs .(25c) 10 

Camouflage of Shirley, 3 acts, 

2K hrs. (35c) 8 10 

Civil Service, 3 acts, 2^4 hrs. 

(35c) 6 5 

College Town, 3 acts, 2^ 

hrs (35c) 9 8 

Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 2% hrs. 

(35c) 5 5 

Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2^2 

hrs, (25c) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts. 2^ hrs (35c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr. . . . (25c) 10 
Enchanted Wood. 1^ h.(35c).Optnl. 
Everyyouth, 3 acts, 1^2 h. (25c) 7 6 
Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4 

For the Love of Johnny. 3 

acts, 2^ hrs (50c) 6 3' 

Fun on the 'Podunk Limited, 

IV2 hrs (30c) 9 14 

Gettin* Acquainted, 25 min. 

(35c) 1 2 

Her Honor, the Mayor,_3 acts. 

2 hrs (35c) 3 5 



M. F. 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 lirs (25c)'12 

Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 

In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs (25c) 6 4 

Jayville Junction, 1% hrs. (25c) 14 17 
Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 

2% hrs (35c) 10 9 

Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts,, 2^ hrs (35c) 6 12 

Laughing C^ure, 2 acts, 1^ hrs. 

(35c) 4 5 

Lighthouse Nan, 3 acts, 2>4 

hrs (35c) 5 4 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Little Clodhopper, 3 acts, 2 

hrs. (35c) 3 4 

Mirandy's Minstrels. . . . (30c) Optnl. 
Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown, 3 

acts, 2yi hrs (35c) 4 7 

My Irish Rose, 3 acts, 2J^ hrs. 

(35c) 6 6 

Old Maid's Glut), 1^4 hrs. (30c) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 6 

Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

m hrs ..(30c)12 9 

On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

2% hrs (25c)10 4 

Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 4 4 

Prairie Rose. 4 acts, 25^ h.(3Sc) 7 4 
Real Thing After All, 3 acts. 

2Ya hrs (35c) 7 9 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2% 

hrs (35c) 10 12 

Ruth in a Rush, 3 acts, 2M 

hrs (35c) 5 7 

Safety First, 3 acts, 

2^ hrs (35c) 5 5 

Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (30c) 7 

Spark of Life, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 4 4 

Spell of the Image, 3 acts, 2^4 

hrs 4 ..(35c) 10 10 

Star Bright, 3 acts, 2H h. (35c) 6 5 
Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 2^ 

hrs (35c> 9 16 

Tony, the Convict, 5 acts, 2^ 

hrs.: (2Sc) 7 4 

Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 2M hrs? 

(35c) 6 18 

Trip to Storyiand, 1J4 hrs. (25c) 17 23 
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2J4 hrs.(2Sc) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 7 10 

When Smith Stepped Out, 3 

acts, 2 hrs (50c) 4 4 

Whose Little Bride Are You? 

3 acts, 2^ hrs (5fc) 5 5 

Winning Widow, 2 acts, 1^ Ers. 

(25c) 2 4 



T. S. DENISON & COM PAN Y, Publishers, 154 W. Randolph St. . Chicago 



TEA AND POLITICS 



A COMEDY IN ONE ACT 



IRENE JEAN CRANDALL 

AUTHOR OF 

"A Cabin Courtship/' ''Hands All Round," ''For Freedom" "Beyond 

the Gate" "The Last Rehearsal" "The 

Fairy Woods" etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 

\ 



PS3 5o5 

. |?2S•2Tt- 
io|2o 

TEA AND POLITICS 

For Two Men and Seven Women. 



CHARACTERS. 

(In the order of appearance,) 

Gertrude Packard 

Director, Women's Dept, Campaign Committee 

Mrs. Humphrey Quackenbos 

A Woman of Self-Importance 

Andrew King. . . .Candidate for Nomination for Governor 

Pansy Blossom A Young Actress 

Ann Steele A Girl Reporter 

Mrs. Andrew King The Candidate's Wife 

Mrs. Peter Loomis An Old-Fashioned Woman 

Mildred Kenrose A Society Girl 

Frederic Maxwell An Influential Young Man 



Place — King Campaign Headquarters, Women's Dept, 
Room in Large Hotel. 



Time — The Present. An Afternoon in Spring, Preceding 

Nominations. 



Time of Playing — About Forty Minutes. 



copyright, 1920, BY IRENE JEAN CRANDALL.. 

2 



&C\.D 55159 



TEA AND POLITICS 



THE STORY OF THE PLAY. 

Andrew King, candidate for nomination, for Governor, 
comes to headquarters of the women's division for a con- 
ference with Miss Gertrude Packard, the campaign man- 
ager. King is troubled because influential young Frederic 
Maxwell, upon whose support he had counted, is reported 
to be going to the opposition forces. Miss Packard says 
she has a plan for winning Maxwell to their side but does 
not tell it. She reminds King that they are giving a tea 
at women's headquarters that afternoon and that he and his 
wife are to come. King is scornful of tea-cup politics and 
storms away, saying that he will not come to the tea-party. 
Miss Packard tries to convince him that it is very impor- 
tant, but King leaves saying that his wife can perform the 
parlor tricks, but he won't. • Pansy Blossom, the little actress 
from the "Goodnight Company," comes to get the speech 
that the Girl Reporter has written for her and stays to pour 
tea. The Girl Reporter arrives, out of breath and greatly 
excited. She has just made an airplane trip to drop cam- 
paign literature and get copy for her paper. She learns that 
Mildred Kenrose, the society girl, is expected to bring 
Frederic Maxwell to the tea, but he is hard to land. Some- 
times a woman's influence will turn the tide. When the 
candidate's wife and her old-fashioned friend arrive with- 
out King, Miss Packard is worried. Mildred Kenrose brings 
Maxwell to headquarters. Miss Packard urges him to take 
the chairmanship of an important committee. He hesitates. 
Tea is served. With his second cup Maxwell accepts the 
chairmanship. Finally Andrew King arrives and is sur- 
prised to find that Maxwell has been won to their camp. 
At last he is willing to acknowledge that tea and politics 
will mix when stirred by a clever woman's hand. 



CHARACTERISTICS AND COSTUMES. 

Andrew King — Candidate for nomination for Governor. 
A big man with a strong personality. Outspoken and un- 
conventional. He has a scorn of tea-cup politics and his 



4 TEA AND POLITICS 

manner is bluff. Aged 35. He wears a business suit that 
sags a little. 

Frederic Maxwell — A young man from the opposition 
camp. Well groomed and aristocratic, with personal mag- 
netism. Aged 28. He wears a well-fitting business suit 
and tortoise-shell eye glasses. 

Miss Gertrude Packard — Director, Women's Depart- 
ment Campaign Committee. Efficient and charming, with 
poise and diplomacy. Aged 30. She wears a stylish gown 
suitable for business. 

Mrs. Humphrey Quackenbos — Self-important, aggres- 
sive and talkative. Aged 45. She is too ^'dressy'* for the 
occasion. 

Miss Pansy Blossom — Young actress from the "Good- 
night Company." Winsome and pretty, with a fascinating 
smile. Aged 18. She wears a becoming street costume 
that is fashionable but not flashy. 

Miss Ann Steele — A plucky, breezy Girl Reporter who 
is ready for any emergency. Aged 23. She wears a tailor- 
made suit and a plain hat. 

Mrs. Andrew King — Eager to help her husband and be 
equal to her position in life. Aged 28. She wears an up- 
to-date afternoon gown and hat. 

Mrs. Peter Loomis — A woman of yesterday who mar- 
vels at woman's political influence and changing times. 
Sweet and lovable. Aged 60, with gray hair. Her gown 
and hat are a little bit old-fashioned. 

Miss Mildred Kenrose — A society girl. Well-bred, self- 
confident and attractive. Aged 21. She wears a stylish 
suit and hat. 



TEA AND POLITICS 

PROPERTIES. 

Office table with accessories. 
Tea table, typewriter and table. 
Eight or nine straight chairs. 
Table for campaign literature. 



Two placards reading, ''King Campaign Headquarters — 
Women's Dept." and ''Andrew King, Our Next Gov- 
ernor." 

Letters, a telegram, circulars and envelopes, newspaper, 

campaign button and typewritten speech. 
Tea-cups, plates, tray, tea-pot, cakes and sandwiches. 



SCENE PLOT. 



-JL I I Typewriter . ■ 



Door Right ^^^^^^ (^^ D Chair 

r Table for 

70 Chair Circulars 

/Office Table Chair □ | | "^^^'® 




STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of stage; C, center; R.C., right center; 
L,, left; /£., first entrance ; U,E,, upper entrance; R. 3 E., 
right entrance, up stage, etc. ; up stage, away from foot- 
lights; down stage, near footlights. The actor is supposed 
to be facing the audience. 



TEA AND POLITICS 



Scene: Women s Department, Cam^paign Headquarters. 
A hotel room with a door up L. opening into corridor and 
another door up R. leading into next room., A table up C. 
is littered with campaign literature. To the right of this is 
a typewriter on a smaller table. Down R. is a large office 
desk or table with wire letter basket, writing material, tele- 
phone and other accessories, Down L. is a tea table with 
Clips and plates. The room is attractive and obviously in 
a first-class hotel. On the back wall are two large placards: 

KING CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS WOMEN's DEPT. and AN- 
DREW KING, OUR NEXT GOVERNOR. 

At the rise of the curtain Miss Gertrude Packard is 
seated at the office table at R, She is a charming, efficient 
young wom^n of thirty. She has a poise of manner that 
inspires confidence in her ability to meet difficult situations. 
Her plain, well- fitting dress is stylish. and appropriate. She 
opens a letter and smiles as she reads it. 

Enter from L. Mrs. Humphrey Quackenbos, an over- 
dressed, aggressive woman of forty-five. She looks around 
with an air of self-importance, 

Mrs. Quackenbos. Are these Mr. King's headquarters ? 

Miss Packard {looking up from her letter). Yes. I 
am Miss Packard, Director of the Women's Department. 

Mrs. Quackenbos {coming forward). I have decided to 
help Mr. King in his campaign. I am going to use my 
influence for him and I am very influential, you know. 
{With pride.) I am Mrs. Quackenbos, Mrs. Humphrey 
Quackenbos. 

Miss Packard {graciously), I'm glad to meet you, Mrs. 
Quackenbos. Won't you be seated? (Mrs. Quackenbos 
sits down in a chair on the opposite side of the table and 
leans towards Miss Packard.) 

Mrs. Quackenbos. I want to have a long talk with you. 
I have a great many ideas about running this campaign. I 



TEA AND POLITICS 7 

have just come from the class in Practical Politics at Mrs. 
Jeremy's house. 

Miss Packard. It must have been very interesting. 

Mrs. Quackenbos. Yes, classes in politics are very fash- 
ionable now and held in the finest houses in town. (Snif- 
fing,) I smell smoke — tobacco smoke. {With disap- 
proval) Somebody has been smoking in this room. 

Miss Packard. Just before you came in someone was 
smoking in that very chair you are sitting in — (with mock 
impressiveness) a man. 

Mrs. Quackenbos (frozvning). Vm glad it wasn't a 
woman. But you ought not to allow any body to smoke in 
here. 

Miss Packard. We can't divorce tobacco from politics. 
They have been wedded too long. 

Mrs. Quackenbos (with a lofty air). But, my dear Miss 
Packard, woman's influence should purify the political at- 
mosphere. 

Miss Packard (smiling). Of tobacco smoke? 

Mrs. Quackenbos. Of all undesirable elements. We 
must reform the men. 

Miss Packard. Have you ever tried to change a man'.s 
ways? 

Mrs. Quackenbos (with a patronizing manner). If you 
had read Prof. Tooker's book on Political Methods you 
would understand. 

Miss Packard (with a smile). Do you mean I would 
understand woman's influence in politics? 

Mrs. Quackenbos. Certainly. (With a flourish.) That 
large and wonderful field that has opened up for women. 
(With complacency.) Now, Miss Packard, I am ready to 
assist in Mr. King's campaign. 

Miss Packard. That's good of you, Mrs. Quackenbos. 
As the time of the nominations draws near we need to rally 
all forces to our side. 

Mrs. Quackenbos (rising). You don't think Mr. King 
will lose, do you? Of course, I want to be on the winning 
side. If there is danger of his losing, I can't waste my time 
with you. 



8 TEA AND POLITICS 

Miss Packard (with poise and diplomacy). It's never 
safe to be over-confident, but we're in to win. The reports 
that are coming in are very favorable. (Holding tip a tele- 
gram,) We have just had good news from down state. 

Mrs. Quackenbos. If your side is going to win, Fm 
ready to help you. What can I do? (Miss Packard gets 
up and goes to the table tip C, and picks up some campaign 
literature.) 

Miss Packard. You w^ill be of great assistance to us if 
you will fold these circulars. (Mrs. Quackenbos looks 
at the circulars and then at Miss Packard and finally ex- 
plodes in indignation.) 

Mrs. Quackenbos. Fold circulars? No, indeed. I can- 
not waste my valuable time doing work like that. I want 
the chairmanship of some important committee. 

Miss Packard. But nothing is more important just now 
than mailing out this campaign literature. We have mass 
meetings, parades and torchlight processions to stir the 
emotions of the people, but we send out tons of this liter- 
ature to influence their minds. 

Mrs. Quackenbos. That's just it. I have a mind and I 
expect to do something where I can show how much 
I know. (Sternly.) Young woman, do you realize that I 
have been president of six different clubs and that I always 
manage things. It is beneath my dignity to (scornfully) 
fold circulars. If Mr. King were here, he would recognize 
my ability. 

Miss Packard (giving her a keen glance). Do you know 
Mr. King? 

Mrs. Quackenbos (znth some hesitation). I've heard 
him speak and my second cousin knows his wife. 

Andrew King comes in from the L. door. He is a large 
man with a dominant personality and appears to he about 
thirty-five years old. His clothes are more comfortable 
than stylish and indicate an indifference to appearances. 
He looks serious and troubled. 

Miss Packard. Mr. King, Fm glad you are back from 
your speaking tour so soon. 



TEA AND POLITICS 9 

King. I came here right from the train. I want to con- 
sult with you about an important matter. 

(Mrs. Quackenbos clears her throat to attract attention 
to herself.) 

Miss Packard. Mrs. Quackenbos, Mrs. Humphrey 
Quackenbos — Mr. King. 

King (in his bluff way). How-do-you-do, Mrs. Quack- 
enbos ? 

Mrs. Quackenbos (looking daggers at Miss Packard). 
I came here to offer my services for your campaign and this 
young woman asked me to (with scorn) fold circulars. 

King (in an abstracted manner). Yes — yes — that was 
nice of her. 

Mrs. Quackenbos (indignantly). Nice of her? (Going 
towards the door with her head up.) When you have some- 
thing to offer me worthy of my talents, you can let me 
know. (She flounces out through L. door.) 

King (looking after her in amazement). Do you have 
many like her? 

Miss Packard (smiling). The type is not uncommon 
around political headquarters. (King sinks into a chair 
with an air of weariness. Miss Packard goes to the table 
and picks up a telegram and hands it to King.) This wire 
just came from down state. (With enthusiasm.) Isn't it 
splendid? Dodge County is for us. 

King (after reading the telegram). That part of the 
state IS safe enough. (Bringing his fist down on the table.) 
It's right here in our own county that we're losing ground. 

Miss Packard. What's the trouble? 

King. The press of our own city is against me. (Pulls a 
newspaper out of his pocket.) Did you see this article in 
the Telegraph this morning? 

Miss Packard. No. I always read the Daily Mail at 
breakfast, because I like to start the day with their point 
of view. Their editorials make me cheerful. They're with 
us, every time. 

King (handing paper to Miss Packard). Look at that. 
The Telegraph calls me a demagogue — says I'm making a 
grand-stand play for the discontented vote. 



10 TEA AND POLITICS 

Miss Packard (looking at the article). This is really 
very interesting reading for any one who knows the truth — 
it has so few grains of fact in it. 

King (greatly excited). Lies — lies — lies. 

Miss Packard (calmly). I have often thought that the 
newspaper ought to be put in the class with the all-fiction 
magazines — entertaining, thrilling and — imaginary. 

King. But the newspapers have great power over public 
opinion and the voters don't know that this scandalous ar- 
ticle against me is ^'imaginary." 

Miss Packard. We will have to meet their propaganda 
with counter propaganda. 

King (with intense earnestness). Yes. All I ask is to 
lay the facts before the people. For years I have been 
working toward one end and now it is almgst in sight. 
(Rises and stands with his hands gripping the back of the 
chair.) But Tve had a serious blow. The man that IVe 
counted on to combat this propaganda against me is lining 
up with the opposition. 

Miss Packard. Do you mean Frederic Maxwell? 

King. Yes. Young Maxwell is leaving us out in the 
cold. We need him. He has tremendous influence. You 
know what a brilliant speaker he is. 

Miss Packard. Yes, IVe seen him play upon an audi- 
ence until they would shout and stamp and hurrah. 

King. I want him to make them shout and stamp and 
hurrah for fite — not for my opponent. 

Miss Packard. Maxwell is important, and especially at 
this critical time when we are mapping out our final drive. 
I heard he was wavering, but I think I can win him back. 

King (looking at her in surprise). You? What can you 
do? 

Miss Packard. I have a Httle plan. 

King (sinking into chair again). I don't see how you can 
influence Maxwell. (With a kindly but patronising air.) 
Of course, you are getting the women in line all right. You 
are a great help in that way. 

Miss Packard (rising, with a bow and smile). Thank 
you, Mr. Candidate. 



TEA AND POLITICS 11 

King. But Maxwell. {Shaking his head.) He's outside 
of your province. 

Miss Packard. Who knows? Sometimes a woman's 
influence will turn the tide. By the way, Mr. King, don't 
forget the tea this afternoon. {Crosses to the tea table.) 

King. Tea? I don't drink tea. {Turns toward Miss 
Packard.) 

Miss Packard {re-arranging the tea-cups), I mean the 
tea party that we are giving here at headquarters. Some 
important people have been invited to meet you and your 
wife. 

King {scornfully). Tea parties in a political campaign! 
What next ? Wouldn't you like to have me dance with a lot 
of sub-debs? 

Miss Packard {with a twinkle in her eye). It may be 
necessary for our next Governor to win votes that way. 
Remember woman's influence. Half the population of the 
state is feminine. {Sits in chair to R. of t'ea table.) 

King. But half the women won't vote if they have to 
tell their ages at the polls. 

Miss Packard. Now you've hit us in a sensitive place. 
Youth is as great an asset to a woman as brains to a man. 
Put it in your platform that a woman need not tell her age 
when she registers and you'll win a big feminine vote. 

King. If women are as silly as that they needn't expect 
to have much influence on political methods. 

Miss Packard. Oh, woman in politics is not going to 
bring about a revolution. We don't expect to change the 
fundamental facts of human nature. {With a smile.) We 
are just going to introduce a few feminine touches into the 
game. 

King. I'm willing to speak at women's clubs and to have 
women on my committee {bringing his fist down on the 
table), but I draw the line at tea-cup politics. 

Miss Packard. You know the same bait won't catch all 
the fish in the lake. We are sending out bales of literature, 
we have speakers all through the state, we have campaign 
clubs singing poh'tical songs, we have bands playing and 
])anners fly in c^ — all for Andrew King, our next Governor. 



12 TEA AND POLITICS 

King. And npw you want to drink tea. 

Miss Packard. Yes, that, too — for Andrew King, our 
next Governor. 

King. Absurd. 

Miss Packard. This is an old game played in a new 
way. The old-time politicians used to settle these questions 
over a glass of beer — but now we women play our part — 
over the tea-cups. 

King (rises and begins to walk the floor in excitement). 
No, I won't come and drink tea with a lot of chattering 
women. Why — that Mrs. (hesitates for the name) — Quack- 
ing — Quackenbos may come back. 

Miss Packard (calmly). She may. She says she has 
great influence and she certainly has a vote. 

King. Well, Fll get votes some other way. Pm go- 
ing out to the iron foundry and speak to the men. Pm on my 
own ground there. (Holding up his hands.) Look at these 
hands. Do you think they were made to handle tea-cups? 
They're too big and rough for parlor tricks. Pm proud 
of the fact that Pve earned rny living with my hands. Pm 
the People's Candidate. 

Miss Packard (looking at hi^i with a diplomatic smile 
as she rises). But there are all kinds of people, Mr. King, 
and there are some kinds that you will meet here this after- 
noon, when you and Mrs. King come to tea. 

King (fuming). I tell you Pm not coming to tea. 

Miss Packard (goes up to him and speaks in her calm, 
gracious way. ) Mr. King, I have a special reason for want- 
ing you to come. Don't you think you can mix tea and 
politics for one afternoon? 

King (turning away). I have more important matters 
to attend to. Now, there's this question of Maxwell. That's 
the vital thing now. 

Miss Packard. Yes, it is vital. 

King (picking up his hat and going towards the door 
L.) I'll send Mrs. King to your party. My wife can do 
the society stunts, but I won't. (With strong emphasis.) 

Miss Packard (calling after him). If you should recon- 



TEA AND POLITICS 13 

sider — tea will be served from four to six. (King goes 
out,) 

Miss Packard goes hack to her desk and opens another 
letter just as Miss Pansy Blossom comes in at L. door. 
Pansy is a winsome, pretty girl of eighteen, with bewitch- 
ing, smiling eyes. She zv^ears a becoming street costume 
that is fashionable, but not flashy. 

Miss Packard (zuarmly). Vm glad to see you, Miss 
Blossom. 

Pansy (coming forward). Pve come for my speech. 
Has Miss Steele written it for me ? 

Miss Packard. I think she left it here yesterday. 
(Searching through papers on the desk until she finds a 
typewritten sheet). Here it is, my dear. (She hands the 
paper to Pansy.) 

Pansy (looking at the paper). Oh, I think Miss Steele 
is so clever. I love the things she writes for the papers. 
Now, / can only say the lines other folks write for me. 
I can't make things up out of my head. 

Miss Packard. Your head is too pretty to be puzzled 
over poHtical problems, but if you will learn this little cam- 
paign speech that Ann Steele has written for you and say it 
in your own bewitching way, you'll win lots of votes for 
Mr. King — male votes. 

Pansy (with a demure smile). Do you think the men 
will listen to me when I talk? 

Miss Packard. I know they'll look at you. There are 
many ways of fishing for votes. 

Pansy. Isn't it funny for an actress to be in politics ? 

Miss Packard. We are very glad to have Pansy Blossom 
of the "Goodnight Company" with us. (Going up to Pansy 
and pinning on a campaign button.) And now you are 
going to wear our button and cheer for our side. 

Pansy. What fun! Just like a football game. 

Miss Packard (looking at her zirist zvatch). I'm ex- 
pecting Ann Steele in a few minutes. Don't you want to 
stay and go over the speech with her? 

Pansy. I'd love to. 

Miss Packard. And perhaps you will pour tea for us 



14 TEA AND POLITICS 

a little later. Some rather important people may come in 
this afternoon. 

Pansy (with enthusiasm). I didn't know politics could 
be so interesting. It's almost like a play. 

Miss Packard. Or a game. 

Pansy {looking around). Isn't there something I can 
do to help while I'm waiting for things to happen? 

Miss Packard {leading the way to the table up C), 
There are all these circulars to send out. Would you like 
to fold some of them? 

Pansy. Oh, yes — it would make me feel really useful, 
like the women who do things at clubs. 

Miss Packard {zvith a significant smile). There are 
some club women who don't like to be useful that way. 
(Pansy seats herself at the table and begins to fold cir- 
culars.) 

Ann Steele comes in from L. with breathless rush. She 
is a breezy girl of twenty-three, very business-like in her 
tailor-made suit and plain hat. 

Ann Steele {with a breezy manner). Just had the 
time of my life. I've been up in an airplane dropping cam- 
paign literature. The city editor wanted me to do the stunt 
and get copy for our paper. 

Miss Packard. You have pluck enough for anything. 

Ann Steele. A reporter has to take any assignments 
she gets, from running on the earth to flying in the air. 

Pansy {looking at Ann Steele in admiration). How 
exciting ! 

Miss Packard. Miss Steele, this is Miss Pahsy Blos- 
som of the ^'Goodnight Company." She is going to give 
the speech you have written. 

Ann Steele {with a friendly nod for Pansy). Glad to 
know you. If you can talk as well as you act you will make 
that speech sound like a hummer. 

Pansy. Oh, thank you. Do tell us about your airplane 
trip. 

Ann Steele. I went up just as I am, but I soon learned 
that this suit was made for walking and not for flying. 



TEA AND POLITICS 15 

Before I was finally buckled in I wished I had worn riding 
breeches. (Looking down at her skirt.) 

Pansy. Were you frightened ? 

Ann Steele (acting out her story). I was too busy, 
holding my hat with one hand and my skirt with the other, 
and dodging the flying-stick, while I kept my eyes on the 
pilot— a very good-looking young man. 

Miss Packard. Was this your first trip? 

Ann Steele. My very first flight. I held my breath 
when we spun round and round and the earth seemed far, 
far away when I leaned over to drop the campaign liter- 
ature on the curious crowds below. 

Miss Packard. Was all this for the good of the cause ? 

Ann Steele (with spirit). And the circulation of the 
Daily Mail. We went up higher and higher until we were 
in the clouds. 

Pansy. What a glorious experience ! 

Ann Steele. It was heavenly. I thought any minute 
my spirit might go to heaven while my body fell to earth. 
(After a pause she looks at typewriter. Taking off her 
gloves.) May I use your typewriter? I want to write this 
up while the sensation is fresh. 

Miss Packard. Certainly. Hammer away. 

Ann Steele (goes to typewriter, sits down and begins 
to type). What a descent! From flying to typing. 

Miss Packard. While you girls are busy, Fll bring in 
the tea-things. I told the waiter to leave them in the next 
room until we are ready. (She goes out R. For a fcz\.' 
seconds Ann Steele types and Pansy folds circulars.) 

Pansy (stops folding circulars to study her speech). 
''Ladies and gentlemen: What we need at this time is a 
united party, and no man in the state is so well qualified 
to carry our banner to victory as — our candidate, Andrew 
King." (Breaking off and turning to Ann Steele, zi^ho is 
typing busily.) Is that right? 

Ann Steele. Great! They'll think you graduated from 
the Speakers' Bureau. 

Pansy. Let's see. Where was I? Oh, yes — carry our 
banner to victory — 



16 TEA AND POLITICS 

Ann Steele (thumping typewriter). ^^Climbing the 
Clouds." {Turning to Pansy.) How's that for a head- 
line? 

Pansy. I don't see how you think of so many lovely 
words. 

Ann Steele {laughing). Sometimes a newspaper article 
has more words than ideas. 

Miss Packard comes in from adjoining room at R. with 
tray with tea-pot and plates of cakes and sandwiches. 

Miss Packard {putting plate of cakes on tea-table). 
Here are cakes, small and dainty, for the ladies. {Putting 
down, plate of sandwiches.) And sandwiches, fat and hearty, 
for the men. 

Pansy {eagerly). Are any men coming? 

Miss Packard {arranging the tea-table). Vm hoping 
that Mildred Kenrose will bring Frederic Maxwell. 

Ann Steele {jumping up). It wnll take some clever 
manoeuvring to get Frederic Maxwell to one of your teas. 
He's hard to land. 

Miss Packard. That's why it's important to have him 
here. 

Ann Steele. If anybody can bring him it's Mildred 
Kenrose. I've seen them lunching together at the Pen and 
Pencil Club. You know, I'm doing the society column now, 
and so I lunch at the swellest places in town to see who is 
there. 

Miss Packard. We hope that Maxwell will come with 
Miss Kenrose this afternoon and then we will have one lion 
at our tea-party. 

Ann Steele. Of course, the real lion of the occasion is 
{pointing to the placard) our next Governor — Andrew 
King. He'll roar for us. 

Miss Packard {zuith a troubled look). He may roar, 
but not for tea. He said that important business might 
keep him away. 

Ann Steele. What could be more important than meet- 
ing the women of his party? {With spirit.) Would he dare 
to slight us by not coming? Surely no candidate would 
make such a mistake at this critical stage of the game. 



TEA AND POLITICS 17 

Just then Mrs. Andrew King and Mrs. Peter Loomis 
enter from L. Mrs. King is a well dressed and well trained 
woman, who is trying to do her part as the wife of a promi- 
nent man. Mrs. Loomis is a sweet, lovable woman of sixty 
— a little bit old-fashioned. 

Miss Packard {going to greet them). Good afternoon, 
Mrs. King. I'm glad to see you. 

Mrs. King. Miss Packard, this is Mrs. Loomis. Her 
husband started Mr. King on his political career. 

Mrs. Loomis (m a slow, szveet manner), Peter always 
beHeved in Andrew and said he would be a power in the 
state some day. 

Miss Packard. Your husband was a good prophet, Mrs. 
Loomis. Mr. King is a power. Mrs. Loomis and Mrs. 
King— Miss Steele of the Daily Mail — Miss Pansy Blos- 
som of the ''Goodnight Company." {The women acknowU 
edge the introduction,) 

Mrs. Loomis {shaking her head in a puzded way). 
Young ladies are in everything now-a-days. 

Miss Packard {places chairs down R, for Mrs. Loomis 
and Mrs. King.) Even in politics. 

Mrs. Loomis. Times have changed. When I was a girl 
we left politics to men and followed only womanly pursuits. 

Miss Packard. But now we have made politics a 
womanly pursuit. Won't you have a cup of tea? 

Mrs. Loomis {surprised). Do you have tea in politics? 

Miss Packard {smiling). Sometimes we serve the poli- 
tics in the tea. Miss Blossom, will you pour for us? 

Pansy {coming forzvard and sitting at tea-table to pour). 
rd love to. 

Ann Steele. Til run over to the newspaper office to 
finish my article and come back later. {To Miss Packard.) 
Miss Campaign Manager, if anything really exciting hap- 
pens, phone me and weMl get out an extra. {Waving her 
arm.) Vm dying for a scoop — a real political scoop. 

Miss Packard. If there's any news, you shall be the 
first to have it. 

Ann Steele {with vim). Remember it was your cam- 



18 TEA AND POLITICS 

paign literature that I dropped from that airplane. Good 
afternoon, ladies. {She goes out.) 

Mrs. King. Mr. King phoned me just before I left the 
house that he couldn't come with me this afternoon. He 
has some important business on hand. 

Miss Packard {handing Mrs. Loomis a cup of tea). I'm 
very sorry. Everyone will be disappointed not to meet him 
here this afternoon. 

Mrs. King. I told him that a candidate was expected to 
be at his own party, but he said tea was for the candidate's 
wife. {As Miss Packard passes her a cup of tea,) Oh, 
thank you. 

Miss Packard. Men in public life always expect their 
wives to play the domestic side of the game. They call it 
woman's part. 

Mrs. King {sighing). Being the wife of a prominent 
man is a great responsibiHty. Since my husband has been 
running for office I have thought of nothing but helping 
him and being equal to my position in life. I serve on com- 
mittees and executive boards and stand in the receiving 
line at receptions and act as patroness at concerts and 
dances — all because I am Andrew King's wife. 

Mrs. Loomis. I devoted my life to helping Peter, but 
not in the conspicuous, public way that women work 
now. The wives of my generation were content to be the 
power behind the throne. {Shaking her head.) Times 
have changed. 

Miss Packard. But a woman is a woman still. We may 
change the style of our clothes, but not our nature, and 
even the vote has not made us use our weapons in a man's 
way. {Making her point with telling effect.) A woman's 
scepter of power is now, as it always has been — diplomacy. 

Miss Mildred Kenrose comes in from L., followed by 
Frederick Maxwell. She is a stylish, well-bred, attractive 
girl of twenty-one. He is a well-groomed, aristocratic young 
man of twenty-eight. 

Miss Kenrose {with a little air of triumph). Miss Pack- 
ard, you see I've persuaded Mr. Maxwell to come with me. 



TEA AND POLITICS 19 

Miss Packard. Tm delighted to see you both. You are 
just in time to meet Mrs. King — the wife of our next Gov- 
ernor. (Mrs. King rises,) Miss Kenrose — Mr. Maxwell. 

Mrs. King. And this is Mrs. Peter Loomis, whose hus- 
band was a second father to Mr. King. 

Mrs. Loomis (with old-fashioned courtesy). I am al- 
ways pleased to meet the young people and especially glad 
to know friends of Andrew. We knew him whefi he was 
a little boy. 

Miss Kenrose. We all admire Mr. King and I thought 
this would be a good opportunity for Mr. Maxwell to have 
a chat with him. 

Maxwell. I haven't really come in touch with King 
since this campaign began. (Mrs. King and Miss Packard 
look dismayed.) 

Miss Packard (concealing her anxiety zvith diplomacy) . 
While we are waiting for Mr. King, won't you and Miss 
Kenrose have a cup of tea? (Turning tozvard the tea-table 
she indicates two chairs dozen L. near the table.) Miss 
Blossom, Miss Kenrose and Mr. Maxwell. 

Maxwell. Pm delighted to meet Miss Blossom on this 
side of the footlights. 

Pansy (with a winning smile). Oh, have you seen the 
play? 

Maxwell (going up to Pansy). I went once to see the 
play and twice to see Pansy Blossom. (Miss Kenrose sits 
down.) 

Pansy. And now will you come to hear me make a po- 
litical speech? 

Miss Kenrose. I didn't know that actresses could make 
speeches on politics. 

Pansy. We're learning. (She rises in her place aiid 
begins her speech.) Ladies and gentlemen: What we need 
at this time is a united party, and no man in the state is so 
well qualified to carry our banner to victory as — Andrew- 
King. (She stops and laughs.) 

Miss Packard (goes over to Mrs. King and speaks hur- 
riedly, so that the party at the fea-fabic zinll not hear Jirr). 



20 TEA AND POLITICS 

Do you know how I can reach Mr. King right away? It's 
very important. 

Mrs. King. I think he's at the club — just two blocks 
down the street. 

Miss Packard. Tm going in the next room to phone. 
{She goes out L.) 

Maxwell {to Pansy). Go on with your speech. You 
are the youngest and prettiest '^spell-binder'' Pve heard. 

Miss Kenrose {with amused good nature). Oh, we 
have several young and pretty members in our speakers' 
bureau. You should have heard the burst of eloquence in 
our class this morning. The chairman gave us instructions 
in party principles and hats. 

Maxwell. Why hats in politics? 

Miss Kenrose. Because men are in politics. We were 
told never to forget the influence of a becoming hat upon 
an audience of — male voters. 

Maxwell {with a whimsical smile and mock heroic 
style). It is the eternal feminine that leads us on and up. 

Miss Packard comes in from the next room R, door. 

Miss Packard. Now let's have tea. 

Miss Kenrose. Why not wait for Mr. King? 

Mrs. King (Miss Packard tries to signal Mrs. King 
not to tell this), Mr. King may not be able to come. 

Miss Kenrose {looking at Miss Packard in surprise). 
Mr. King not coming to tea this afternoon? I brought Mr. 
Maxwell on purpose to meet him. 

Maxwell. Yes, I'd like to have a few words with King,. 

Miss Packard {with her usual quick wit). No doubt he 
has been detained and will come in later. I know he would 
not want to miss the guests we have this afternoon. But why 
not have tea now and take your second cup with Mr. King? 

Miss Kenrose {taking a cup from Pansy and going over 
to R.). V\\ take my tea with Mrs. King and Mrs. Loomis, 
while you talk with Mr. Maxwell. 

Pansy {rising). I must go {li^ith a smile) and learn my 
speech. 

Maxwell. Let me know when you begin your speaking 
tour and I'll be there to cheer. 



TEA AND POLITICS 21 

Pansy (with a bewitching glance). I think I had rather 
hear you make a speech. (Pulling the manuscript out oj 
her bag.) I don't know my Hnes yet, but I have them in mj 
hand if I haven't them in my head. Goodbye, everybody. 

Miss Packard. Thank you, dear, for helping us. Come 
again. 

Pansy. I will. (She goes out L.) 

(Mrs. King, Mrs. Loomis and Miss Kenrose chat to- 
gether. Miss Packard seats herself at the tea-table and 
pours tea while Maxwell sits near,) 

Miss Packard. If Mr. King were here, he would want 
to talk to you about an important matter. 

Maxwell. You know, Miss Packard, Pm not really 
lined up with your forces. 

Miss Packard. You ought to be with us, Mr. Maxwell. 
We need you. 

Maxwell (smiling). The other side has told me that. 
Pm not yet convinced that I want to stand on your plat- 
form. 

Miss Packard. It's firm enough to hold even so strong 
a man as you. 

Maxwell. It has several weak planks. 

Miss Packard. Our opponent's platform creaks when 
you stand on it and wobbles when you walk across it. 

Maxwell. Like most women you see only one side to 
a question. 

Miss Packard. If we limit the field of our vision, it's 
because we want to walk straight to our goal. 

Maxwell (conceding a point). There's something to 
that. If you want anything, aim straight and hit hard. 
{With a determined air.) That's what I do, when I've made 
up my mind. But first I must see clearly, I must be thor- 
oughly convinced. 

Miss Packard. Andrew King is the strongest candidate, 
the only man who can unite all factions, and for the good 
of the party you ought to support him. 

Maxwell. I've been trying to weigh matters fairly. 

Miss Packard. We are mobilizing our forces for an 
intensive drive in this campaign. What we want you to 



22 TEA AND POLITICS 

do is to take the chairmanship of the pubHcity committee 
to succeed Draper. 

Maxwell (emphatically): I couldn't think of it. It's 
out of the question. 

Miss Packard (as she pours the tea). Cream? 

Maxwell. Sugar, but no cream. 

Miss Packard (holding up a lump of sugar with the 
tongs). How many? 

Maxwell. Two. 

Miss Packard (passes him. the cup with a smile). Help 
yourself to the sandwiches. They are within reach. (She 
pours herself a cup of tea.) 

Maxwell. This is such a smooth blend of tea. 

Miss Packard. Yes, we always try to have a smooth 
blend at our political teas. (A slight pause.) That 
publicity committee plays the most important part in this 
campaign. We must have an able man to take the chair- 
manship — a man who combines executive ability with the 
qualities of a brilliant orator. (Pause.) Now, whom would 
you suggest? 

Maxwell. Have you thought of Connor? 

Miss Packard (considering). He has the executive 
ability, but he's not a good speaker. We need a man who 
can stir audiences— who has the power to sway men and 
women to his side — a man of magnetic personality. (A 
significant pause.) Mr. Maxwell, let me pour you another 
cup of tea. 

Maxwell (passing his cup to her). Just half a cup, 
Miss Packard. 

Miss Packard. The more I think it over, the more I feel 
that there is only one man in the party who can do this 
for us. 

Maxwell. It's true that it is very important that you 
find the right man for that job. 

Miss Packard. I feel that the success of the campaign 
depends upon it. 

Maxwell. It's a critical situation. 

Miss Packard. We need the most influential man in the 
party for this work. (Passing him his cup of tea.) Mr. 



TEA AND POLITICS 23 

Maxwell, won't you reconsider the chairmanship and lead 
us to victory? (After a slight pause Maxwell smiles.) 

Maxwell (as he takes his second cup). Miss Packard, 
your power of persuasion is as smoQth as your tea. You've 
won. 

Andrew King appears at the L. door as if he had been 
hurriedly summoned. He does not see Maxwell. 

King (in his bluff way). Here I am, since you insisted 
that I come to your pink tea. 

Miss Packard (smiling sweetly). Mr. King, you are 
just in time to meet Mr. Maxwell. (Maxwell rises and 
puts down his cup. King looks dumbfounded.) 

King. Maxwell! Here? 

Miss Packard. Yes, and I have good news for you. 
Mr. Maxwell has accepted the chairmanship of publicity. 

(Mrs. King, Mrs. Loomis and Miss Kenrose rise in 
pleased surprise. King looks as if a thunderbolt had struck 
him.) 

King (gasps). Maxwell — chairmanship of publicity! 
(A hearty smile spreads over his face. He goes up to 
Maxwell and grasps his hand warmly.) This is the great- 
est victory of our campaign. 

Maxwell, (turning toward Miss Packard). Thank 
Lieutenant Packard and — her tea. 

Miss Packard. But Mr. King thinks that tea and poli- 
tics don't mix. 

King. Now I know they do when stirred by a clever 
woman's hand. 

positions. 
Miss Kenrose. 

King. Maxwell. 
Mrs. Loomis. Mrs. King. 

Miss Packard. 
Curtain. 



An Old Fashioned Mother 

By WALTER BEN HARE. 

PrFce, 35 Cents 

The dramatic parable of a mother's love, in 3 acts; 6 males, 

6 females, also the village choir or quartet and a group of silent 

villagers. Time, 214 hours. One scene: A sitting room. A play 

of righteousness as pure as a mother's kiss, but with a moral 

that will be felt by all. Contains plenty of good, wholesome 

comedy and dramatic scenes that will interest any audience. 

Male Characters: The county sheriff; an old hypocrite; the selfish 

elder son; the prodigal younger son; a tramp and a comical coun- 

'^try boy. Female Characters: The mother (one of the greatest 

sympathetic roles ever written for amateurs); the village belle; 

the sentimental old maid; the good-hearted hired girl; a village 

gossip and a little girl of nine. Especially suited for church, 

Sunday school, lodge or school performance. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act. I. — The Good Samaritan. Aunt Debby*s farmhouse in late 
March. The Widder rehearses the village choir. Sukey in trouble 
with the old gray tabby cat. "She scratched me. I was puttin' 
flour on her face for powder, jest like you do!" Lowisy Custard 
reads her original poetry and Jerry Gosling drops in to see if 
there are to be any refreshments. "That's jest what maw says!'* 
Lowisy and Jonah pass the fainting tramp by the wayside and 
Deborah rebukes them with the parable of the Good Samaritan. 
The tramp's story of downfall due to drink. "A poor piece of 
driftwood blown hither and thither by the rough winds of ad- 
versity." John, Deborah's youngest son, profits by the tramp's 
experience. "From this moment no drop of liquor shall ever pass 
my lips." John arrested. "I am innocent, and when a man can 
face his God, he needn't be afraid to face the law!" 

Act TI. — A Mother's Love. Same scene but three j'^ears later, 
a winter afternoon. "Colder'n blue and purple blazes and snowin' 
like sixty." Jerry's engagement ring. "Is it a di'mond? Ef it 
ain't I'm skun out of two shillin'." "I been sparkin' her fer 
nigh onto four years, Huldy Sourapple, big fat gal, lives over 
at Hookworm Crick." Deborah longs for news from John, the 
boy who was taken away. The Widder gossips. "I never seen 
sich a womern!" "You'd think she was a queen livin' in New 
York at the Walled-off Castoria." Lowisy is disappointed in 
Brother Guggs and decides to set her cap for Jonah. Deborah 
mortgages the old home for Charley and Isabel. The sleighing 
party. "Where is my wandering boy tonight?" The face at the 
window. Enoch and John. "I've been weak and foolish, a thing 
of scorn, lauglied at, mocked at, an ex-convict with the shadow 
of the prison ever before me, but all that is passed. From now 
on, with the help of God, I am going to be a man!" 

Act III. — The Prodigal Son. Two years later. Deborah bidi 
farewell to the old home before she goes over the hills to the 
poorhouse. "The little home where I've lived since John brought 
me home as a bride." The bitterest cup — a pauper. "It ain't 
right, it ain't fair." Gloriana and the baby. "There ain't nothin' 
left fer me, nothin' but the poorhouse." The sheriff comes to take 
Aunt Deb over the hills. "Your boy ain't dead. He's come back 
to you, rich and respected. He's here!" The return of the prod- 
igal son. Jerry gets excited and yells, "Glory Hallelujah!" The 
joy and happiness of Deborah. "Honor thy father and thy 
mother that thy days may be long in the land." 

T. S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street. CHICAGO 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List off Successful and Popular Plays. Larse Cataloeue Free 



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Class Ship, 35 min v.. 3 8 

Divided Attentions, 35 min... 1 4 
Fun in Photo Gallery, 3^ min.. 6 10 
Getting Rid of Father, 20 min. 3 1 

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Honest Peggy, 25 min 

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Teacher Kin I Go Home, 35 

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Two Ghosts in White, 20 min . . 

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Assessor, The, 15 min 3 

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Country Justice, 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 25 m. 3 

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For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 
Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 



M. F. 

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Lottie Sees It Through, 35 min. 3 4 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min, .... 1 1 

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Please Pass the Cream, 20 min. 1 1 

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Little Red School House. 20 m. 4 
Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

P^te Yansen's GurKs Moder, 10m. 1 
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Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Street Faker, 15 min 3 

Such Ignorance, 15 min 2 

Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

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A sreat number of 

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T.S.DENISON&COMPANY,Pubtisher$.154W.RandolphSt., Chicago 



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LaughlandfVia the Ha -Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories , j okes, gags, etcl 

Larsre tltustrated Catalosu* Fr«« 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers J54W. Randolph St., Chicago 



